Owen's Quarterly Update {2 and 1/2} - Ice Cream Off Paper Plates

Has it really been two weeks since my last post? Aaahh, sorry I’ve been MIA. I’ve been busy writing this extremely long post about Owen. Yep, he’s two and a half now and it’s time for another update on my silly boy.

So much has happened in the past three months – it’s hard to organize my thoughts and write something that makes sense. I’m definitely going to have to use bullet points and drink a cup (or pot) of coffee. Let’s get to it. –>

Some big milestones were reached this past quarter. Owen moved out of his nursery into his new “big boy” room with a “big boy” twin bed. The transition was shockingly easy. He started sleeping in his bed and never mentioned his crib again. He is also letting go of his binky slowly. Currently, he only asks for it at naptime and bedtime – major progress for someone who used to have it in his mouth 24/7.

Most importantly, we recently started potty training. Goodbye, diapers! The potty training experience was, ergh, interesting. A full blog posting about this will be coming soon.

The last few months were filled with holidays – Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s. Owen was less enthused about his Halloween costume this year and much more interested in trick or treating. After collecting his treats, he spent hours in the following days sorting his candy. Owen loved Christmas – looking for his elf Tiny every morning, watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, going on a holiday hayride. In November, he hated Santa (“I don’t like that man.”) but, by December, he was on Team Santa and was thrilled to sit on his lap and tell him he wanted a big vacuum with attachments. On Christmas morning, Owen took about an hour to open one gift – yes, ONE gift. Needless to say Christmas morning lasted into December 26th since unwrapping gifts was such a time consuming task.

Owen continues to talk more and more. He’s very articulate, although he doesn’t pronounce everything perfectly. For example, we saw the Philly Phanatic mascot at a store event back in late October. Owen was terrified of him, but as soon as we left the store he said “I wanna see the Philly Maggot!” To this day he calls him the maggot no matter how many times we pronounce fanatic with him.

As he’s always been, Owen is very active. He misses going out in the backyard during these cold winter months, but he keeps busy playing with his toys or weird items he finds in the house like a colander. Owen loves hiding, building “doghouses” with his Legos, playing with his train set and toy horses, and building forts out of pillows and blankets. Sometimes he makes up bizarre “games” that make me question his intelligence level. Lately, he commands “Squat with me!” or “Race with me!” Apparently, he thinks we’re playing some version of football but it feels more like a fitness class with a very impatient instructor.

Owen’s love for the vacuum cleaner has not lessened. Back in October when we started mentioning Santa Claus, Owen immediately asked for a vacuum cleaner for Christmas and kept asking for it until Christmas morning. All he wanted for Christmas was a BIG vacuum cleaner (no dust buster!) with attachments. Santa looked a little bewildered by this request, but Owen must have been a good boy because he got a real vacuum on Christmas. His face lit up like we gave him something that’s actually fun instead of the tool for my least favorite household chore. He still talks about the vacuum on a daily basis. We recently adopted a new dog, Sophie, and I told Owen that she was coming to live with us; Owen responded, “Sophie is going to vacuum the floor with me.” Isn’t Sophie a lucky dog?

Owen adores his little sister. There are moments when he wants attention and tells me “Put her DOWN. Play with ME.” But he’s mostly infatuated with her. He smothers her with kisses and tries to pick her up, calling her “Carmen-knee” and “little sissy.” When other people hold her, he gets very possessive and says “She’s MY baby!!” Sometimes he’s unintentionally rough with her and we have to correct Owen. He’s immediately defensive and yells “I’m being gentle!!” or “I am being careful, Daddy!!”

Owen has become a mini me. There’s a 98% chance that every phrase that comes out of my mouth will eventually come out of Owen’s. He likes to pretend I’m going to bed and tucks me in, saying “Go to sleep!! Or Santa won’t bring you a big vacuum. DON’T get out of bed.” At least I know he’s listening.

Bedtime isn’t the only thing he reenacts. We must have redone Christmas night and morning dozens of times. I told Owen that he can’t go in our basement because creepy bugs are down there. So now he likes to tell me that I can’t go in the basement because of the creepy bugs and that he’ll protect me. He’s also started mimicking me when we play hide-n-seek; he walks around saying “Is it on the chair? Hmmmm, no. Is it under the ottoman? Hmmmm, no.” He doesn’t just repeat my words. He uses the same tone of voice and emphasizes the same words that I do. Perhaps he’ll be a future actor? Looks like he has a knack for memorizing lines. Plus, he enjoys performing. Sometimes he stands on his stool and sings to us with his toy microphone. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Old McDonald are his go-to songs.

Owen is still a picky eater, unfortunately. He only wants to eat one thing – chicken nuggets. We have this conversation at lunchtime every day:

“Owen, eat your food.”

“NO, YOU eat it.”

“No, you eat YOUR food.”

“NO, Mommy, YOU eat it.”

Then I realize that I’m arguing like a toddler and give up. Then we have this conversation at dinnertime:

“Owen, eat this one piece of broccoli.”

“No, no thank you.”

“Please eat it for Mommy. I’ll give you a treat for dessert.”

“Hmmm. No, no thank you.”

Then he insists that I move the broccoli off his plate. Oddly enough, after I finish my dinner, Owen then says “Did you eat all your broccoli? Good job, Mommy.” Thanks for the encouragement, Owen.

Here are some other Owen-tidbits from the last three months:

Owen likes to stay at home. As soon as I start to get dressed, Owen eyes me suspiciously and says “Are we going somewhere? I just want to stay home. I don’t want to go to Target.” (Which really just blows my mind…I mean who doesn’t want to go to Target??)
When Owen starts to whine or yell, I ask him why he’s acting that way. His response: “I have a reason; I had a long day.” Ummm, yeah, I’m pretty sure my day is feeling a lot longer than yours, kid.
Rather than engaging in conversation lately, Owen has started constantly responding with one very annoying word: “Huh?” Every time I say something to him, I immediately hear “Huh?” Every. Single. Time. I snap back “You heard me!” and, of course, he says “Huh?”
Owen is very aware of private parts. And he likes to share his knowledge with others. For example, in church a few weeks ago, Owen showed a nice couple sitting behind us his toy horse. He pointed at the horse’s underside and exclaimed “Look at his penis!”
While visiting my family recently, Owen decided to use the potty. After going, he ran out of the bathroom without any bottoms on and, in front of my family, he grabbed his junk and yelled “Bon apetit!” There are simply no words for moments like this.
Another gem from my classy son: At my niece’s baptism, Owen refused to stay in his seat and ran up onto the altar with us (we’re the godparents). In the middle of the ceremony, Owen lifted up his butt, let out a loud fart, and announced “I farted. I wanna do it again!” Lovely. You have one toddler and suddenly your family is frighteningly similar to the Honey Boo Boo clan.
Owen is essentially a dictator. He corrects me constantly and bosses me around. He asks me to play with him and then tells me I’m not doing it right. I connect two Legos and he shakes his head “No, that’s not how you do it. Here, let me show you.”
I recently explained to Owen that I’m a girl. He very somberly responded “No, you’re not a girl. You’re a lady. Girls are kids.” Great. He’s already insinuating I’m old.
Much to my dismay, Owen started to hate having his photo taken over the past few months. As soon as he sees the camera, he tells me to put it away. If I can bribe/beg him to stand still for a photo, he yells “That’s enough! I just wanna play!” after one shot.
Owen shows glimmers of sympathy. Whenever he’s watching a cartoon and someone seems sad, Owen worriedly says “He wants his mommy!” When our dog passed away in November, Owen gently asked “Did Walter go night night? Is he resting? Are you sad about Walter, Mommy?”
While playing with his toy barn a couple months ago, Owen said “Look! The rooster is waiting at the door for the pizza man.” And when someone rings the doorbell, Owen excitedly says “Is that the pizza man?” Can you tell we order pizza a lot around here?
Owen is intrigued by the concept of “going to work.” We went to visit Richard at Rider University, where he started working in the fall. Now, whenever Richard isn’t in the house, Owen asks “Where’s Daddy? Is he at Rider? Can we go there?” One day, he told us “I work at home.” Richard replied “Really? Where’s your office?” Owen pointed to the couch. And that sums up life as a toddler. “Work” is sitting on the couch.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how much I enjoy this age. I have so much fun with my little guy and there are moments when Owen is incredibly sweet. We lie on the floor amid his mess of toys and cuddle sometimes. He pats my head and whispers “I love us” in my ear. Then he picks up a tiny toy horse and asks “Can I put this in your butthole?” and just like that the moment passes.